She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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