Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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