i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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