I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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