I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
