party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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