I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we're making bets on your personal life
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
