I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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