morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
