i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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