I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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