I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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