he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
