Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
they're like a gay fantastic four
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
