I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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