this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
