I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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