wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
