Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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