Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just had sex on a roof
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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