If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
