So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
