I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I need moral support for this bender
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
