I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
