i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize