He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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