Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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