This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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