so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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