Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
