I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
