walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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