my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
