I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
