She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
