you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
