just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
