Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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