Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
