I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
