trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
