i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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