I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
