Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This house was built for laser tag.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
