omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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