did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
