I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
