Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Vodka?
Forever.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
