I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
