grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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