the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
