Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
