For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
