My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
ttyl tear gas
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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