Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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