yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
