Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
