She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
