Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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