Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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