just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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