I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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