Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize