guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
