i permit you to call me
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
