a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
