if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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